On a Haply Occasion in the Coffee Shop

For instance, there is this vivid immediacy of engaging with a laptop computer, the fingers nimbly traversing the trackpad, the eyes absorbed in the fluid shifting of windows across the screen, and the rhythmic percussion of typing away at the keyboard (by virtue of engaging in my favoured play-activities of hacking and pottering around the internet, reading this or that), while seated in the pleasant ambiance of a local coffee shop.

With the raw affective energy dynamically enabled for one purpose and one purpose alone, channelled1 directly into the sheer thrill of doing that which is already happening, the eyes are wide-open to the vivid visual delights of the computer screen. Whether it be the perusal of sundry texts or the mental machinery behind the code unfolding, one is drawn inexorably closer to the sheer magic of the brain in operation. These so-called mundane tasks thusly become intimately fascinating, being experienced with more of a heightened, immersive, and immediate awareness of them as they are happening.

This intense fascination thusly engendered, along with the sensory closeness by-now ensuing more, soon segues into a delicate intimacy with the entire room, which is flowering as this luscious richness now opening up. The yellow-lit ambiance of the café takes on a brilliant character; the visual acuity is markedly increased, and out of this splendid exquisiteness this excellent state of affairs, where the habitual separation is so wondrously diminished, is oh-so-sweetly manifesting in all its wondrous, environmental scope.

Looking up over the rim of the laptop screen, gently gazing into the bustling café, there is the mutual recognition of fellow travellers in this (normally) faraway land where the grip of psychological time has been so wondrously loosened, whether it be a middle-aged man intent upon his e-ink tablet, a young man likewise occupied with paper and ink, a family with two dogs chatting in the corner near the window, or the two baristas appearing so very happy and calm, thusly leaving one fully here in this vivid immediacy.2 There is a profound revelling in being this forgotten, naive part of ‘me’ (the one prior to having experienced all hurt and thus prior to all the defensive personae), and this very appreciation, of being as a child again, unburdened by adult personae, only serves to magnify the sheer enjoyment of the moment and to further reinforce this very naive way of being. Through these freshly naive eyes, everyone, including oneself, is equally fascinating.3

For here, where the habitual separation has so felicitously receded, both hurting and being hurt are far removed; thusly here is the environment ever with me, pervasive and largely benign, just as it is ever the same with me for it.

There is a marked contentment here, having little need for anything or anyone, for one is so wondrously out-in-the-open and in marked exposure to the world about, with so very little left to hide. This is all that is wanted in life, to be naïve through and through and to unreservedly enjoy this only moment of being alive. With a very pleasant, unforced demeanour,4 I can no longer pretend, upon any spontaneous association hence, to again be someone I am not as this freshly naive openness has left no room for the adult persona’s habitual duplicity.

Nary a word needs to be expressed to the room of this most precious revelation, as this very exposure is speaking for itself in a language of its own. An older man walks by, a young woman orders a drink, and a completely unplanned, spontaneous smile is exchanged.

She asks, instead, if the chair next to me is taken.

  1. By the usual run of things, the adult persona is on guard hereabouts, subtly attempting not to be distracted by the females walking past, and filtering the room through sophisticated, protective, and sexualised layers. The instinctual passions, such as the biological drive of lust, are typically frittered away and squandered upon fantasies, narratives, expectations, or stratagems (and all such burdensome psychological movements navigating psychological time), however, having already ceased to fight this dynamic (having realised that fighting it only ever rendered it ‘serious’), and with the belief in the at-core marginalised scared child-identity having already evaporated, one instead employs the developed knack to instantly ‘arrive here’ (what is actually happening) wherein the raw energy of the libido, whilst still-born in its biological intent, segues seamlessly into aesthetical enjoyment, whereupon the habitual, predator-like focus eases back into a more wide-eyed partaking in all that happens, thusly allowing the affective energy to be felicitously channelled (which is to say, dynamically enabled rather than being repressively "declined" as a robotic, unfeeling persona might otherwise sudorifically attempt). ↩

  2. Because the instinctual passion has been successfully channelled into this felicitous immersion, the women going about their day are no longer ‘distractions’ to be managed, nor objects of an adult sexual layer to be ‘possessed’. To be carried away by such instinctual passions, such as by attempting to ‘possess’ another, is to be instantly swept out of the immediacy of the actual environment and plunged back into the burdensome navigation of psychological time. ↩

  3. This very quality of experiencing has so felicitously informed my social interactions, as evidenced by a recent haply occasion during a gathering with some French students, occurring whilst playing a board game and partaking in the simple delight of some pork rinds, where there was no longer any habitual urge to ‘think too much’ during those naturally occurring lulls in the conversation, nor any planning of what to say, nor even the urge to say anything at all. Instead, with the internal conversation having been so wondrously quietened, one found that these fellow human beings were not in the least bit boring; rather, it was with a complete ease that one could just be here, fully present and unreservedly engaged in the simple business of being with others. ↩

  4. The facial muscles are no longer held in their habitual grip; the rigid visage (the ‘poker face’ put on to pretend being unaffected, for instance) has given way to this actual ease. ↩

#002
0226RZ1
  1. Accidental access to naive part of 'me'2
  2. Everyone is equally interesting in the moment.2
0227AZ3
  1. AccidentalReproducible4:
    • staying with -> no longer serious -> no longer believing5 in it -> naiveté resurfaces (via a bit of 'arriving here'6)
    • 🚨7: 'fighting' it -> serious
  2. Preferable to adult personae for ease8
0227RZ1
  1. [EES]:9 Diminished separation -> Increased thrill of doing (better than 'flow') -> not missing anything

  1. Momentary realization ↩ ↩2

  2. [quote="syd, post:20, topic:1171"] Meanwhile, I accessed what I call the ‘marginalized scared child’ (beneath all adult sophisticated layers, including the sexual ones), stayed with ‘him’ and accidentally accessed the forgotten naive part of ‘me’ (the one prior to having experienced all hurt), and have been living that since this morning … I am rather surprised at myself for having utterly spontaneous (i.e., unplanned) interactions with people (old guys included; everyone’s fascinating in the moment) so much that it makes the distinction between introvert-and-extrovert an utter nonsense. [/quote] ↩ ↩2

  3. Consistent actualisation of a realization ↩

  4. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reproducibility ↩

  5. RICHARD: Unfortunately it is not such a simple matter as merely exposing and dropping beliefs and misconceptions. I would suggest asking who is doing the exposing and dropping. I would enquire into just who is holding the beliefs and misconceptions concerning an on-going self. ‘I’ cannot drop the belief that ‘I’ exist because ‘I’, the would-be ‘dropper’, am what is to be dropped. Like-wise, ‘I’ the would-be ‘exposer’, am what is to be exposed. Only apperceptive awareness will do the trick. link

    ↩

  6. Idiosyncratic memory during PCE transition. ↩

  7. Flashing red light as it were ↩

  8. RICHARD: ‘I’ felt foolish that ‘I’ had believed for thirty two years that the ‘wisdom’ of the world ‘I’ had inherited – the real world that ‘I’ was born into – was set in stone. This foolish feeling allowed ‘me’ to get in touch with ‘my’ dormant naiveté, which is the closest thing one has that resembles actual innocence, and activate it with a naive enthusiasm to undo all the conditioning and brainwashing that ‘I’ had been subject to. link

    ↩

  9. EES: environmental in its scope ↩

#001